July 5 2055

All right, we finally achieved our goal! The Penguins made it to .450!

For June, 14-14 (.500)
Division, 4th (26-1/2 GB)
Overall, 37-45 (.451), 19th. Relegation line +9g.

We won  a couple of tournaments,->which turned into six packs->which turned into a new backup catcher (more on that later).

We won a couple of POTWs, which (maybe) turned into all star votes? Doubt it.

Relief pitching continues to struggle but individual performances have made bright spots now and then. Johnny Sain and Gregg Olson were both exiled to the ice floes following last season’s flops, but they’re both pitching very well at the moment. Moose is making consistent solid starts again. The other four starters are pitching right around league average…not doing too much damage, but not dazzling either.

The hitters are beginning to lose interest and wander aimlessly around in the outfield again, except for single-week hitting displays from Brock and Clarke. Unfortunately isolated performances–Brock went right back to ice cold following his week in the newscasts.

Ray Fosse has announced his retirement as fading numbers and the Pete Rose incident/injury have detracted from his playing career. He’ll be working is his new job as the Announcer for New Orleans Penguins baseball. We’d like to thank Mr. Fosse for his contributions and many years of service.

The New Orleans Penguins would like to welcome our newest rookie: Catcher JT Realmoney … er, Realmuto. He’ll be taking over as Pudge’s sidekick, as they share duties behind home plate.

FakeFosse_400x400   Realmoney


Remember JD Martinez, Penguins fans? Apparently our scouts have a fondness for guys with initials instead of first names.

 

 

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Dave

The bloated warthog who pilots this ship onto the rocks of despair--then turns around and sets sail for the Island of Lost Toys. Always wanted to go there!

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